Chapter 12 – The Last Hurrah for my CLE… but never the last as my own self expression site.
January 20, 2020 – Who would have thought that the last days with my teachers would this be sad? Since today was the last day with my teacher in PE, then played last two games, we took alast picture with her. Then me and my friend Raffy, Janna and Yuuqi went to SM, then had a great laugh. We were supposed to study, but hey, they are hilarious to the point my stomach and jaw aches. Then ate a sakto meal in Greenwich which was worth it. Then got a high score in Physci recitation.
HUMSS 1803 with Miss Bernadette
January 21, 2020- I helped a friend of mine in reviewing the exam. Then I remembered what my friend told me yesterday that some of our classmates were admiring how our friends (Tsquared) always help each other in school, Reviewing and Supporting. After school, I spent time with my baby.
January 22, 2020- I was tired today, so I requested to James to help me by buying food, then he did. The reason I was tired because we took two exams and it was stressful, but I have high hopes that I will pass since I know myself I studied. The we bid good bye to our Community engagement teacher.
HUMSS 1803 WITH SIR Edison
January 23, 2020- There was a math race, and guess what? We did finish the race, though we don’t expect anymore to win, but to have fun. Before the game, I bought sweet, which was yummy. Then after school, I went home to finish the bg for our photoessay which I did. James was my partner then he took wonderful shots.
My favorite shot of his.
January 24, 2020- Me and James finished the Photoessay on time then passed it just before the deadline. I was just so happy today, I get along with James very well lately. It will always be nice days whenever me and James get along well. Then me and my fam traveled to Caloocan to make the invitations for my debut.
Made his shot my wallpaper.
This week has been a blessing especially to my boyfriend since we got along so well. It will always be those days that I will cherish the most. I love him more because of that. I am excited for my 18th Birthday on Feb 8. Hopefully, everyone come.
On the 9th of December, 2019, it was Monday, and my day was busy as always, because everyone was working on the proposal expected to present on Wednesday, next week. I am blessed to have my gropmates(Mark, Joemari, Angelie, James, Alyssa and Llave), because they were very helpful and responsible to their roles. It is such a rare occasion whenever I get beautiful group mates. On 10th of December, I remember I went home early, because something came up between me and James, but still I got home early to rest myself. On 11th of December, I lend my friends my phone to have their pictorial, again. *sigh* I love those people. On 12th of December, my boyfriend recommended me beautiful shoes to buy for my Christmas present. On 13th of December, Friday, though people think Friday the 13th is unlucky, but for me, it was not like that. The shoes James recommended me was bought today, and it was funky pink, which was fun. Not only that, our anniversary’s watch was delivered to us.
The first thing we did on Monday was to prepare for the Egg drop since it was today, and boy, it was stressful keeping the egg from cracking. So my wonderful group mates tasked to create a vessel that would keep the egg from cracking. The good thing was that the egg drop has been moved tomorrow. On Tuesday, three great news came out, we did successfully on the egg drop, our proposal presentation has been moved next year, and the paper for our PhySci paper was moved as well. On Wednesday, I did not went to school, I just stayed at home then played PS4. On Thursday, our class celebrated Year End party. So far, it exceeded my expectation, despite the fact that we were only few who went to the Party, we made it fun and memorable. Gave souvenirs and had Agape where we gave ribbons to the special people we have in life. On the end of the day, we celebrated our Year End Party on the School. Where students showed off talents, dancing and singing. It was a fun Year End in my School and that made it memorable.
HUMSS 1803 AWITMy baby…Year End Party with these beautiful gals.
January 9, I was glad that the presentation has been moved on Wednesday, so that means more preparation. We finished the needed contents on time. On January 10, I don’t know why, but I was happy to see my boyfriend got his tarantula pet and it was cute seeing him all being a father to his pets. On January 11, a successful presentation it was. One of the panel told us that we wereone from the few presenters that has a comprehensive detail on the presentation which means ours was more precise on our goal is on the proposal. It was great news. On January 12, class suspended due to Traslacion. Then on Friday, I did not attend to class, so I just played PS4.
The first two days of this week was suspended, because of the ashfall. It was not fun, but still happy that my family and love ones was safe from sickness. So when we got back on Wednesday, the class was half day, which was shortened class. On Thursday, my friend created amazing digital caricature of us Tsquared. She was crazy talented. On Friday, I planned the 18 books for my debut, which was I am excited about to receive.
The whole month I was gone was crazy. So manyplot twists occurred which is so memorable. I am so blessed to have my New Year welcomed by good news and renewed heart. I got to talk to my parents openly then me and boyfriend is now legal. My birthday is coming up, so many birthdays is coming up. I can’t wait for the year 2020. So far, so great and grateful. God Bless everyone.
“Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”
Matthew 5:8 KJV
Rewind to Weekend…
LEGENDS:
Good Things (Italic)
Good Deeds (Bold)
A short recap on my unforgettable night on November 30, 2019. It was afternoon when I begun to prepare myself, because my friend Alyssa was about to celebrate her debut later that night. Of course, I looked for the perfect clothing for the occasion. Since it is Beach Theme, I wore a tube gown with slits to both sides, and has a flowery design. It was my first time to wear something like it. Before heading to the venue (a private resort in Novaliches) I went to Raffy’s house, my friend from T². This was to accompany each other to go to the party.
Happy Birthday Alyssa! I love you.
Alyssa’s 18th Birthday. (Photo Taken by James Jalalon)
Alyssa’s 18th Birthday. From left to right: AJ, Lousie, Alyssa, Anchie, and me (Photo Taken by: James Jalalon)
Time passed, the party was fun, especially seeing Alyssa seeing her in a gown. After the formal event, an after-party was scheduled up to 12 midnight. I was not informed to bring swimming clothes, luckily a classmate of mine that was invited as well, bought clothes for me. Then we stayed in the pool, for almost 3 hours at night. Resulting a freezing feeling. It was honestly a blast. An after-party that is still unforgettable.
Into the Unknown(Photo Taken by: James Jalalon
After-Party Part 1 After-Party Part 2 On our way to our home with babe.
2nd of December, 2019 – A Date to Remember
I still remember myself this morning, thinking whether would I still attend school since a storm was coming. But of course, I can not bare the fact that I would miss class without a valid reason. Because of this, I pushed myself to go to school. But then, only a few of my classmates came, so we did not discussed further. To our surprise, our class was suspended. One way to start December is class suspension. Funny.
After the class suspension, me and James decided to went out for a date? I do not know if that what it is, but still, any moment we got to spend together alone is a date. We went first to my house to pack my things and get my money, then we traveled through SUV to SM North Edsa, to eat lunch at Zark’s Burger. Then we stroll along the mall looking inside any shoe outlets and watch stores for our anniversary. Later on, he confessed that he was planning to buy me the Keds: Betty and Veronica shoes. It was really really sweet of him, and I admire him more, because of that. After our time in the mall, we stopped by in a food stall selling Binatog(A boiled white corn kernels street food. It is made by soaking mature white corn in water and salt until puffed.) then bought two cups. Then we went to my house, as a last stop, we watched The Searching on my bedroom with James.
Me and James at Trinoma waiting for SM North Edsa’s Opening. Me and James after watching The Searching. (AWESOME FILM by the way! MUST WATCH!)
After he went home, his sister, Ate Jasmine chatted me, including me to their birthday celebration for Saturday, 7th of December, 2019. It was a satisfying feeling to actually be invited by his own sister and be part of the celebration. The fact that they acknowledged and ask my presence fot that day. It was sweet and I look forward to it.
Ate Jasmine’s message to me.
3rd of December, 2019 – Rest in Rain
The best and worst feeling from being a student experiencing class suspension. Though I find it great, the class suspension (A storm came) for today, because I got to have time for myself to rest. still it gave me anxiety, because of the opportunity missed to do something productive in school, for instance our Action Plan and Project Proposal.
4th of December, 2019 – Barely had classes for today…
3/4 of our class did not went to school. Out of 46, only 16 students came. I am one of the present students, of course, I do not allow my laziness in the middle of cold season win. Due to this, our first class, community engagement, we did not discussed, only talked about random, but valuable topics. Recess came, PhySci, our teacher discussed the introduction of History of Astronomy. After PhySci, our Piling Larang teacher gave us our markings for the 1st quarter of our 2nd Term, to my surprise, I got 95 for my midterm grade. After class, my friends, Yuuqi, Elaine, and Maj invited me to have lunch in McDonalds, then Maj treated me with a burger and a Zagoo shake.
16/46
5th of December, 2019 – Kapihan
This must be the most fulfilling day for this week. A Kapihan was held in our CLE class, where last week we talked in small groups about: the things that pisses us off; the things we hate about ourselves; and why am I deserving to love. It was interrupted last week, because of the lack in time, then today we continued this activity. We formed a big circle, then continued to the next person that we stopped by last time. When it was my turn, I openly said what I felt for months inside our class. I did not care anymore of what their reaction is, because for months, I held it for so long. And that time was the perfect opportunity to let it go. Releasing the heavy feeling and resulting a relief and calmness in me. I noticed how everyone was not paying attention, so I called them out that it was important to look and understand others as well, not only in themselves. As an end to this activity, our teacher in CLE, sir Karlos, gave each of us 6 candies. These candies was labeled to 5 categories: the person I want to say sorry, the person I am grateful for, the person I still want to see after SHS, the person that impacted so much in my life. Of course as expected, I gave a candy to someone I felt negative emotions, then asked forgiveness. Gave candies to my friends, James, and my classmates that deserves to be appreciated. To my surprise, a lot of my classmates gave candies to me about the category that impacted or has a great part in their life. It was so sweet and fulfulling to know I made something that influenced others in a good way.
The people I still want to hang out with after Senior High School. (From left to right: Me, Raffy, Yuuqi, Maj, Janna, Julie and Elaine) This is to all my T²friends.
6th of December, 2019
I am very excited for tomorrow’s surprise and I hope I can make him happy by my appearance. Well, hopefully.
Right now, I just want to take a moment and have a rest. Christmas break is near. New year is coming in a few weeks. I pray for blessings upon blessings shower on me, my family, friends, church and special people in my life.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is Good; His love endures forever.
1 Chronicles 16:34
LEGENDS:
Good Things
Good Deeds
Rewind to Weekend…
After days of planning, anticipation, saving, and preparing for this day, the day finally came. The birthday of Julie, celebrating her 17th Birthday with T² at Boso Boso Resort in Antipolo Rizal. Of course, we did not only celebrated one birthday celebrant, but with the other November Babies as well (Yuuqi, William, and Queenie).
T² ft. JamesThank You, Antipolo, Rizal (Photo Taken by: James Jalalon) Us imitating that awkward scene from the Netflix Series “The End of the F*cking World” (Photo Taken by: Julie Madrid)Ah yes, what a lovely sight. INSERT: Queenie and Kass (Photo taken by: James Jalalon)
I can honestly say, I needed this break. For weeks of stress and schoolworks, maybe it was a time for me to take a break and unwind for a time. Along with my friends. I know how everyone of my friends experienced struggles and difficulties, and still managed to attend just to spend time with each other. Just seeing my friends laughing, and enjoying each other’s company is a relief. Just as much spending time with them. I am so so blessed to have them in my life. Despite the times we barely talk and spend time to each other because of business, still we were dedicated to push through this plan. To more adventures T².
25th of November, 2019 – Ace
First things first, I woke up early just to finish our scrapbook, because today was the deadline of our Scrapbook in PE 4. It contained the compiled reflections of my group mates from different games we played for the last 5 weeks. Then when I went to school, our first subject community engagement gave us free time to do our Community Profiling. I made sure that our paper would finish in time. So, to make sure all the work was done, I helped my members understand my instructions to execute their partwell. Later on, during our PhySci Class, I found out I perfected my exam resulting high grades. I know myself that I learned something in PhySci, especially since it is Chemistry. The only thing I hate is Physics.
26th of November, 2019 – Back to Basics
Since yesterday, when I found out about my high grades in PhySci, I feel like during my childhood days, back when I was still in grade school, where everything seems to be basic and easy. If only things go easy nowadays. Well, I do not wish for things to be easy, because everything that comes easy, can also easily be taken away in just a glimpse. Still, I am grateful I experience hardship, or else I would not learn anything.
During our Community Engagement, our teacher cancelled his school work, so we could start our community profiling. Then after class, I got to spend time with my boyfriend after submitting the final community profile format.
27th of November, 2019 – Time to Catch
Group 2 interviewing the Barangay Secretary of Brgy. 435. (Photo taken by: John David Llave)
Alyssa bought two pack of these cakes, which is a great blessing to us. This served as a token to our interviewees.
28th of November, 2019 – Do Good
Our next barangay secretary that welcomed us openly. Gave her a bag of cakes as well as an appreciation for participating.
Finally, after two day of interviewing, we were done! After going to the barangay, we went to McDonalds to finish transcribing the answers. It was sweet of James, while I did my work, he fed me fries. And honestly, I am so proud of my group members (Joemari, Mark, James, Alyssa, Allysa, Angelie, and Llave) They are very responsive and responsible, and I pray they continue to do more good things.
29th of November, 2019 – Everything is Well, sort of…
Alyssa treat us Starbuck drinks while we finish our Action Plan. (From left to right: James, Alyssa, Mark, Joemari and Me) Later on Alyssa’s cousin visited her then later on, helped us finish our Layunin in our Action plan.
This week went a total 360 degree turn, then suddenly stopped on the bottom. Still, God gave me great news and great people that continues to help me become better and better everyday. To my friend Janna that lost her grandpa, may you find peace despite the grief, and my friends currently find themselves lost stranded, there is hope. There is hope for us.
Today is the blog entry for November. For the only month left, for sure a plot twist is waiting for the month of December and the last 31 days for 2019. For the better chapters…
A minor flashback of what happened on my first day, which is technically Sunday. After months of avoiding my fellowship with my Church, finally I attended already. It was really unexpected of me to push myself once again to the life I used to have. Isolating myself from the path God has planned for me. And surprisingly, so many good things suddenly happened the day after I attended our Sunday fellowship. I firmly believe it is God that allows this circumstances to happen in my life for me to realise He is truly alive and He misses me to go to His fellowship every Sunday.
“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”
This chapter is different from the usual chapters I wrote. Everything went so fast, I am just glad I got through it perfectly fine. With the help of the people I love and close to me, I overcome.
Maybe, just this time, I can have a free pass.
I forgot to write down the good things that happened in me, because I went through unbalanced phase once again.
Carrying this heavy baggage only stopped me from my full potential and enjoying the joy and peace in me.
I worried about my future in college, work, my family status, financial aspect, my neighborhood, myself and my relationship towards others.
I felt I am insufficient with everything I am and in what I do. That no matter how hard I try, I will be stuck in my own phase. No direction and no future.
I felt stress in my own house, school and relationships that I got no one to turn into, because everyone has their own problems.
This led me to worsening my condition where I pull out my own hair, unconsciously and uncontrollably. I experienced breakdowns every night, hushing myself whenever I cry to prevent others from hearing me cry. I never wanted my family and friends to see me cry. I feel like they pity me when I do. I isolate myself whenever I think like this.
This situation affected my thinking and attitude inside my school. Pretending everything is fine when it is actually not. Unknowingly, I already offended others, even my close ones.
Until James talked me out of it. That I need help, I needed help with my situation that I no longer can control. I gotten used to be the helper that I forgot there are people around me willing to help me. James encouraged me to open up to a professional, because he as well cannot no longer help me. I passed him so many things I forgot he is a human with life too.
For days, I was carrying this heavy baggage inside of me, scared to open up once again, because in reality no one really wants hearing problems. I feel like once I open up this baggage, this would only mean a burden to someone I let go off. It was a scary and overwhelming feeling, but I decided it is time.
The best thing I did was when I open up to the school’s guidance counsellor. I asked her to tell my parents that I need professional help with my condition. (Pulling out my own hair) Letting go of what was kept inside began to lighten and easier to breathe and think. It was a relief.
This is a key, opening up and to seek help to professionals. Now, my parents know what I was experiencing and they treated it with respect and honor to help me with my situation. They decided to accompany me to a psyche to help me with my condition.
After nights of crying and hurting myself, I began to smile and be jolly inside our room. I began to feel free again from the sorrows of my own horror. I found hope in the midst of crisis.
I finally saw the good things.
I helped my friends to understand things, passing my classes, becoming active in activities, cheerful and learning to understand other’s situations, being there when someone needs help, enabling myself when I can and not exhausting myself too much.
I am just glad that I took the first step I have been holding off for days. I am here now.
I am blessed and very grateful for God for giving me wonderful and amazing people in my life. They helped me in every little way that God allows. He never failed to amaze me, even though I fail Him almost everyday.
This month has been challenging, but I know God is with me in this life. He allows hurdles in my life that He knows I can overcome. I entrust Him my future and myself.
Good things are yet to come. Just believe and trust the process.
An exciting week passed once again. This time a big event comes up in my life. My four friends (Julie, William, Yuuqi and Queenie) celebrates their birthday this November. Of course, as a group of friends, we planned a celebration with all of us in a same place. I am much looking forward to it soon.
Anxietyweighs down the heart, but a kind word cheersit up.
Proverbs 12: 25
For days anxiety builds me up almost every night, clouding my mind with fearful thoughts, and it is getting tiring. But despite the worries, I am glad of my friends and boyfriend to cheer me up when I need it. They make me laugh whenever my smile lose its way. And to him that who was there in the beginning already.
Kind words really does a thing, especially to someone who longs for it for so long, and not it is given.
As days fast approaching, everything seems to be like in a flip book. All happening in a swift of brushing against the pages and all animations comes to life, at once. It is life, where everything happens now that can be either fruitful or poisonous in the future. The only stopper is death. But, is death good? Maybe yes, or maybe no.
The month of October ended, and now is the welcoming day for November. Also known as the All Saint’s Day in the Philippines. Wherein almost every Filipino annually commemorates their passed loved ones by going to the cemetery.
For us, we do not often go to cemetery, since we have no to visit. I am grateful that we do not have close relatives that passed away already. Cherishing the life we still have.
Without further a do, let’s head on the first blog of November.
A week passed once again for the month of October. Honestly, it was considered stressful, but challenging. Exposing myself to different realities, already, inside the four cornered room.
By justice a king gives a country stability, but those who are greedy for bribes tear it down.
Proverbs 29:4
Classroom Discussions
In relation to our class discussions: True and honest leader also focuses on the betterment and welfare of its people, and not only to himself. While the greedy ones only think of themselves.
I am blessed to have my teachers in this second term. Great teaching, where I actually understand completely the said topics. Though, I found some concepts difficult to grasp, I do my best to immerse myself into these lessons. For some reasons, I am not fond with politics, and I am not that good in writing in Filipino (I know, the irony.)
Without further ado, let us head on to the main part: The weekly blog.
The beauty under God’s power is the protection and blessing reigning upon my life. This first week proves the glory of the Lord working to His children. As a child of a King, it is always the Holy Spirit moves at first to lead the life I have.
On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: king of kings and lord of lords.
Revelation 19:16 (NIV)
Honestly, the first few days of the 2nd term could be considered overwhelming. The teachers bombarded me paperwork in preparation for the classes, since I am the class secretary. Despite the stress and works, still good things happened. It is important to look on the bright side and not dwell in the negativity.
It is a privileged to have this CLE experience with Sir Karlos. Enlightening me with truths and life lesson that I cherish.
Royal Book 